went on down to people park's OG yesterday to meet up Wilson for dinner and also to wait up for him till he finishes work. after the meal i was pretty much on my own to wander about until it's time for him to knock off. explored all 5 levels of the OG store and frankly speaking, it's a torture going thro the lifestyle department where u get exposed to all the evil-ly nice looking cups and bowls and plates and all those really sweet crockery sets..ARGHGHGHGHGHGHH!!! cos u can't buy them!!! either too expensive or for my case.. mom rules the kitchen.

technically the way i would have my own house presented and the way my mom would kinda differ. her idea of nice may not be similar to mine. i like.. uniquely designed furnitures or.. items in my house... and to her, it's a tad overdone or flowery but that's the way i present myself. thro aesthetically presentable and stimulating designs. and i would even buy different sets of crockeries (however u spell it. it's supposed to represent plates n cups) and have them used under various occasions. when u're feeling all Zen or sophisticated, shit there's this japanese tea cup set that i love but it's expensive! or if u're feeling cheerfully arty, there's these cactus themed mugs. i imagine my house being colourfully displayed with interesting things that makes the place fun. cute thrash cans, cute seats, even the clock perhaps. wilson asked if i would even paint the wall myself. yeah i would! and doodle mine own designs on the wall. it's not an impossible feat since i've managed to paint the wall of my own flat just last year. ah.... then i'll have so much fun n joy living in that house of mine... *daydreams*..BUT, that is, if i get my OWN flat! aha! *sighs loudly*

me n mom under the same roof, mom rules. in the eyes of ur parent u're forever a kid somehow. mom's rules apply over urs. and i'm not sure if i shld contribute it to generation gap or wad nots but even if my mom knows me she doesn't really know that much. not at least the way i truly function at work, my thinking, my thoughts etc. she knows the basics but not entirely. therefore the way i function may be very effective but not approved by her because under the stress of havin her around, i simply let her function instead of myself. my mom, is almost wad u can all, a clean freak. she cannot stand untidiness (she'll kill all of u if she sees mess) and dusty anything.

on the practical side of it all, i do have enough space in my current flat to have me, mom, dad and wilson living in it and so technically we don't need a new flat.. arghh.. but that urge for my own space.. and.. my own designs.. argh.. hahaha but the laziness of doin hsework is obviously there. but then again, u can't possibly hav u own mom doin all the hsework all ur life right? haiz. complications of adulthood. u lose some u gain some but havin to lose those stuff is like shit sometimes.

life can be such a cesspool of shit sometimes.

sometimes in the midst of being angsty mom takes me as a punching bag to rant her frustrations at me and i become target practice of most of the grievance she feels and more than often most of the anger source results from my..dad!? hey! then why rant on me!? oh wells.. to argue is to folly and step on the lion's tail when it already has a pin stuck in it's paw. get what i mean? u simply prolong the ranting when u argue so just bear it for the moment although..seriously i admit to a few times i've been tempted to retort bcos the remarks gets more n more offensive and unreasonable. when i say offensive, it's seriously offensive. the unjust sorta offensive. like u've been accused or something she said in the past has been turned back against u. back of my mind will be cursing n swearing at her raking up the past to rant when it's kinda nonsense actually.

perhaps due to my lack of theoretical ability to be specific, let me just contribute these to generation gap. how people function then and we function now largely differs. THEN, they act based on experience and almost instinct like behaviours. but education hasn't be so great back then for them to actually turn introspective and analyse the behaviour themselves and to consider the individual psychological factors which many, even in modern times, would consider as "Cheem". everyone's behaviour has a motivation behind it. good or bad, there's a reason that drives us towards certain behaviour. in a way, i guess i have to thank Iman alot.. a hell lot.. for introducing the discussions about personalities into my life which allowed me to expand my thinking by a whole new level.

it aided me into havin my friends closer to me in a bond that's almost indescribable i guess? i mean how cool is that? u get to understand PEOPLE on a general and also an individual basis of how they function and u could almost anticipate their thinking cos then u'll put urself in their thinking style and finally understand why it's so difficult for some to function in ways we tot it's simple. i guess this is one major major factor cos more than often, in our society, we definitely have a set of invisible should n should nots. how things are generally done and how things are generally not done and people who simply follow these generally done behaviours w/o any good justificaton for why they do it except "cos that's how things are done" will fail to understand the difficulties of those who goes by the way of not doin things the general way. if u bombard them with enough "why" to corner them into finally seeking their own justification, upon realising the real situation they might just be so stunned i swear! by understanding the innermost reason why and how a person function will help u find a more effective way to deal with that person and if u wish u pull him out of any particular behaviour for any reason, u'll have an easier time finding a more effective approach. not all 'BY NORMAL STANDARDS' approaches work u know!? sometimes on different people they end up backfiring! i could almost find myself drooling with joy when i drown myself in all these mental thinking and discussions to figure out some factors about human behaviours. sorry if u think i'm nuts. hahahahaha not that i care anyway. that's wad makes me different from u then, and others as well. I'M UNIQUE! MUAHAHAHA *winks*

anyhow.. wednesday is comin up and altho silly wilson already disclosed all his secrets about what he intends to do for me (kill joy lah u stupid boy!) but nvm, i'm still damn happy about it. *GRINS* feelin all da luuuuuuuuuuuuurve baby! hahaha and friday is our annivasary!! how cool is dat?

ok i just have to include this last liner. I LOVE THE BELGARIAD SERIES! wahahahahahahaha